So back to the farm. It was an enlightening experience, to say the least. I really connected with my host father because we have a similar philosophy on life and what its purpose is, even though we live in completely opposite societies that are separated by hemispheres and religions. We would sit for an entire afternoon in front of our home watching the cars pass by, talking about how to reach the soul through meditation and what it feels like to reach the soul. He told me that he has reached the soul and now is in a state of "no thoughts." This is not possible, but it is possible, he said, to reduce the number of thoughts you have in any given day. And he has reached that point. He is a conscious human being, where as the majority of humans on this planet are not conscious. They are in the sense that they are alive and are aware of what is going on around them, but they are not conscious in the sense that they are really aware of the actions they are performing. For example, when we are doing a monotonous task of doing the dishes, for example, our minds lead us astray and we begin thinking of all of the errands we have to run and how we didn't pay the last bill or how we need to remember to email our boss. We rarely ever focus on the action of washing dishes. Our minds bring us somewhere else. This is how we avoid peace each and every day. We are not at peace with washing dishes, it is not enjoyable for us in any way. Our minds cannot stop thinking and we are led from one thought to another and before we know it, the dishes are clean and we have lost track of time. We are thinking of what we will do AFTER we wash the dishes, rather than focusing on the act of washing the dishes themselves. My host father introduced to me another way of thinking about consciousness. To be conscious is to be present, and to be present means to be aware. I am trying to work on my awareness. It is much more difficult than I imagined.
But anyways, I don't think I can really explain to you how my host father impacted my thinking. It's not every day that you wander out into the field to cut grass for the cows and talk about reincarnation for an hour. I can rarely ever find anyone who is willing to talk about life and spirituality with me without thinking I'm insane. Really though, if I start talking to you about how I don't want to be stuck in the system of school, working, bills, errands, and everything else that ties me down, but that I would instead meditate to find my true self and travel the world because I think so much is wrong with American society, you'd probably think that I'm just a very negative person who has a skewed view of reality. When I was in high school I didn't think twice about the life I was living. I was just like everyone else; I played sports and aimed to do well academically. I didn't have a giant group of friends, but just enough to have a backbone in life and a great time that I wouldn't ever take back. But after spending two years at UVM, something changed. I realized that school isn't for me right now and for two years, I felt like something was off in my life. I was getting restless from being in one place for too long, I realized that by getting an education, I was missing out on so much outside of Burlington, VT, and outside of my country. The first world is all I have ever known, and it's easy to do what everyone else is because you don't want to go against the grain. But I took a huge brave leap and now I'm in Nepal with complete strangers and an unknown culture, where all I am left with is what I know about myself and the philosophy I have been cultivating for the past few months. I have found that the people I left temporarily in America have made me a strong-enough individual that I can do my own thing now, I can follow my own dreams. For now, school is not in the picture. And I still don't know what I want to do as a career. All that matters is the now.
Since nothing here is familiar, I have been forced to really question my morals and my intellect. What is it that I really believe in? Why did I choose to come here? What is the purpose of this? What is it that I want to do with myself while I am alive? All of these questions I haven't quite answered and probably won't for awhile, but traveling by myself has caused these questions to arise. You could say my thinking has gotten deeper. I'm really interested in Zen Buddhism and think it really resonates with the types of things I believe are true. And I've read quite a few books since coming to Nepal that have contributed to changes in my thinking.
I've been in Pokhara for a few days now and I have bought several books, which I NEVER do. But I'm really excited to read them because they symbolize the changes that I'm making in my life. I bought "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance," "Into the Wild," "Notes to Myself," "I Am That," and "Hidden Brain." Some are self-development books, some of philosophical, and some are spiritual. All, I think, are going to help me solidify the thoughts I've been having that I can't put into words without sounding like a lunatic.
So I'll update you on some of the recent things that have happened to me. I met up with my friend Aaron while I was at the farm in Chitwan and we visited Chitwan National Park. We were going to take a Jeep tour of the jungle but there wasn't enough space for the two of us, so we opted for a canoe ride down the Rapti River and 2-hour jungle walk to the elephant breeding center. I really enjoyed our time there, and I enjoyed even more what happened next. We grabbed some dinner at a local restaurant, and by the time we finished we realized that there were no taxis available to take us home. So we walked for an hour and a half or so until we got to the main road in Sauraha, only to realize there were no buses running either. God damn. So we had an adventure and ended up staying overnight in Sauraha at a local guesthouse for whopping five bucks for the both of us. Win. We had a really long conversation on the balcony of the hotel that night, and it hit me. We are two college drop outs who just happened to meet up in Nepal and are traveling hippies trying to maneuver around life's obstacles. How did we get here? It was a strange realization but it was eye-opening because we realized that we are pretty much in Nepal for the same reason, because we are ready to find change.
A few weeks later I took a bus to Pokhara from Chitwan and had a hard time leaving my host family. My host sister, Prashamsa, started to cry as I left and that was hard to see because I had really gotten to know here over the past three weeks. My host mother had asked me the night before while we were picking beans in the field, "Sister, will you help me? My health is not so good and I'm scared. Will you help me if I need it?" That really struck a cord. I helped my grandmother for several months when she was ill with lung cancer, from helping her get dressed to giving her medication. And this brought me back to that moment. I said, "Of course I'll help you. Don't let the space between Nepal and America hold you back from asking me for help." I really appreciated that she asked me because it meant that I had really made an impact on her and on the family. It is really hard here in Nepal to get the right medical attention when you are poor. A simple cut could turn into a fatal infection, seriously. Just a few nights before, a woman committed suicide across the street from my farm by drinking poison. I thought when I saw the ambulance, oh she'll be okay, the doctors will be able to save her. But she didn't make it. Medicine here is not good and doctors are not life savers. A small illness could mean the end of your life if you are too poor to help yourself. So I was sad to see my family go because I know they need money and I know that I was a chance for them to seek help when I was at the farm, and now I was leaving. But I have kept in touch with them since I've left so they know I'm still there for them.
Once I got to Pokhara, I was reunited with my friends from the RCDP hostel in Kathmandu. We spent quite a bit of time buying trekking gear and warm clothes because on October 22, we started our trek to the Annapurna Base Camp (4,130 meters). THE TREK WAS THE BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE. It was eight days long. It was probably one of the most strenuous hikes I've ever completed. It tested my physical endurance as well as my mental strength and it was definitely a challenge. But I would do it all over again if I could. With six trekkers, three porters, and a guide, I had plenty of company. We would head out at 7:30am each morning and trek for anywhere from 5 to 8 hours. By the time we got to the guesthouses, it would be 4pm and chilly. As the sun would go down, the temperature would plummit and it would be time for down coats, wool socks, gloves, and a hat. Like it was basically winter at night and summer during the day. Ridiculous. And as a result of the temperature changes, all of us got colds. I'm still recovering from mine with a nasty cough and stuffed sinuses.
The views of the snow-capped Himalayas were incredible and they made the hard trek totally worth it. We would all keep each other company during the hardest parts of the day and at night, we would play cards and all write in our journals by head light. Sometimes there would be no hot water, and at the base camp there was no shower. But no one complained. It was all part of the experience. And so was the food. At the base camp, there were people from all over the world who had come to trek to the base camp and further. Some of them had gotten food poisoning, so that was another worry we had besides the altitude sickness. Luckily, though, none of us got altitude sickness. I could definitely notice the thinner air and a more difficult time breathing, but no vomiting, no headache, no dizziness, etc. No complaints! On the way back down we stopped at some hot springs near Jhinu, which was a welcome change after being freezing for the past four days.
I'm so obsessed with trekking that I will most likely be doing a 14-day trek to the Everest Base Camp in a few weeks. Why not? I'm in Nepal, I might as well. And now that I know I can make it to 12,000 ft I know I can make it to 18,000 ft if I go slowly. Slowly, slowly. Bistari bistari, as the Nepalis say.
So I've been in Pokhara since Tuesday, when we got back from our trek. And I've had a hell of an experience on a motor scooter on the streets of Nepal. My friend crashed and burned her leg, and my other friend crashed on a wet road. So I won't be doing that again. On another note, I visited Begnas Lake with some friends and we rented row boats and paddled around for awhile. Life is so peaceful here once you get away from the busy streets and Nepalis trying to sell you souvenirs. And I have found a little slice of Pokhara where all the hippies hang out, it's SUCH a cool place right in front of the new hotel I've moved to.
While my friends are doing a meditation course, I am wandering around Pokhara for a bit. Then for the next week or so I will be sight-seeing on my way back to Kathmandu, where I will fly to Lukla for the Everest Base Camp trek. The trek will last two weeks, and then when I get back to Kathmandu I hope to experience a 7-day meditation course and retreat at Kopan Monastery. And then I will be on my flight home (NO!!). I don't want to leave!
No comments:
Post a Comment